How do we hold a space to allow reality to emerge?
The first part of holding a space is sensing that a particular type of communication needs to occur. This might include any number of types of communication such as creative (visioning, brainstorming), administrative (status), integrative (goal setting), productivity (operational), governance (process) or even emotional venting (sometimes we just need to let people get frustrations out in the open). Sensing which type of communication is needed drives the kind of communication space and time that is needed. How many people? Which people? How long? What is the agenda?
Depending on the type of communication, the content of the discussion will tend toward either more structured (administrative, integrative, operational) or less structured (visioning, brainstorming, venting). Generally the less structured the conversation, the larger the sociological space that is needed to allow ideas to emerge. More structured conversations can typically be more controlled, but there should always be an underlying principle of space and timing so that unexpected refinements have the opportunity to present themselves.
Part of the concept of holding a space is to allow creation to happen vs. forcing a particular pattern into existence - a co-creative process instead of an ego-based approach. We may perceive a new situation as a repeat of past experiences. We may want to force this new situation into the same pattern as some specific or synthesized prior experience. What we do not realize is that each new situation is unique. It has emerged in a new time, space and with different subjects and objects. Forcing an old pattern on a new situation may be a well-intentioned desire to make things come out "right", but too much control may kill the possibility of a new or better manifestation.
We may struggle allowing moments of silence when we are in leadership positions. Many times we are doing much of the talking when our groups or teams are assembled. We give status, updates and articulate goals. If we ask a question and see blank stares or too many moments of silence, we may jump to fill in the void with further clarifications or persuasive words. In doing so we may intercept the emergence of ideas that were in the process of baking into existence. This may derail a crucial comment from a colleague.
Some personality types are more suited to holding a space for idea emergence than others. Obviously, listeners are more comfortable with space and synthesis than talkers who may monopolize the conversation and may wish to enforce particular implementations and outcomes on the environment.
